Win Back Your Ex

If you have separated or divorced and decide you want to get your ex back, there are normally a number of ways to go about it. But if you cheated and now want to win back your ex-husband, your game plan will need to be extraordinary. Cheating is the single most damaging thing you can do to a relationship and you can’t expect your ex to get over the betrayal as easily as he would get over an argument that got out of control.

For many years, it’s the image of the cheating husband with which we have been most familiar. But now, more and more women are the guilty parties for betraying their partners and they are the ones having to work at getting their relationships on track. Although you may figure out how to win back your ex-husband repeatedly following multiple infidelities, you are going to be more likely to end up with a solid, trusting relationship if you are not a serial cheater.

Either way, these are some important things to keep in mind while you are working at getting your ex back once you have cheated on him:

* Accept that you aren’t going to win back your ex-husband overnight. You are going to have to make a commitment to getting things back to where they should be and do whatever it takes for however long it takes to do it. If your ex is agreeable, you may have to start over with your relationship and gradually build back up to a serious commitment with trust instead of trying to back up to where you were before you cheated.

* Before you start trying to win back your ex-husband, be honest with yourself about why you cheated in the first place. At least for a brief time, you didn’t think everything was perfect or that he was the right one for you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have turned to someone else. Analyze your actions and be certain that you want to get things back on track with him.

* Don’t confuse a guilty conscious with the desire to win back your ex-husband so that you can stay together for the rest of your life. Cheating on your husband isn’t like changing your mind about which shoes to wear. If you don’t know why you behaved in this way, you are destined to repeat this action in the future.

* Start with a sincere apology for what you have done. Apologize for your mistake and for the pain you have caused him and assure him that he is the one you want. Then leave him alone. You don’t have to remind him several times a day that you are still interested.

* Don’t put the blame on him. Even if you think he is as much to blame as you are, telling him so is no way to win him back. This would be a serious case of adding insult to injury and you are probably going to make him even more defensive than he already is.

* Put his needs first. It’s up to you to win your ex back after hurting him and you will have to put your needs on the back burner until you can make an honest effort to repair your relationship.

Sometimes, the only way to understand what went wrong and how to fix it is by going to a professional. If you can’t seem to move forward, consider getting the help you need to win back your ex.